Edible paper. Edible paper. EDIBLE PAPER!! Amaze your friends! Astound your coworkers! All you need is...EDIBLE PAPER!!!
(The following message is brought to you by the National Board of Edible Paper and Non-edible Babies.) Hey there, baker! Lonely sheet cakes got ya down?
[defeated trombone slide]
No worries. Now you can turn this:
"Boo! That's so BORING and PHOTOLESS!"
...Into THIS!
"Wow! Is that paper? That you can EAT??"
Yes, it is! And now your bakery can make literallytrillionsof dollars with a little help from this fabulous product, known as... EDIBLE PAPER!!! With Edible Paper (and our conveniently included vehicle clip-art starter pack), you can...
Cut costs! ---What better, more cost effective way is there to celebrate a bride-to-be's journey than with...
...recreational vehicle clip-art?
With a few roses and a stick figure bride, this shower cake is ready to roll!
Save time! ---Why waste precious hours fumbling with piping bags when it takes only a second to hit "Print?"
And it's still just as meaningful.
It's EASY!
---No artistic talent? No problem!! Hearts are difficult to draw, but an edible hearse is just a keystroke away!
Death becomes it!
Yes, with Edible Paper, you are only limited by your Imagination*!
*Imagination clip-art packs sold separately.
Now, don't put away that "Eternal Rest" photo pack just yet; when a customer asks you to "just make it nice ," it's really your time to shine!
You can rest in peace knowing your customer is happy.
Do you love fried chicken? I mean, LOVE love it? But not so much that you want to eat anything that actually tastes like fried chicken? Then you're in luck!
It's finger lickin' great!
Edible Paper!
EDIBLE PAPER!
EDIBLE PAPER!!!
Edible Paper. Transforming your baby shower cakes from this...
Into this:
You're welcome.
Thanks to Susan H., Liana E., Nathan S., Dana H., Taryn, Kerry M., Adam D., Wendy M., Mollie B., who think these cakes look pretty tearable.
*****
P.S. You know what's better than edible paper? EDIBLE CHEESE PAPER:
No, it's not a real cheese printer (booo), but with these prank gift boxes you can make your friends and family THINK it is. There's also an "ear wax candle kit" and an especially cruel 12,000 piece puzzle box of a solid blue sky. DASTARDLY.
Bakers, will someone please get a handle on these clown cakes?
"Woo woo woo!"
Wait. Let me rephrase that.
What I mean is, I'm seeing a lot of funny business lately...
Don't tell me this candle placement wasn't intentional.
(But do feel free to share a burning pee joke. That'd be hilarious.)
...and at some point we just have to ask SWEET MERCY WHAT IS THAT CLOWN DOING?!
Keep it up, Chuckles, and someday you'll be juggling one less dancing dog, if you catch my drift. (You know, tripping the blue elephant? Cooling the cream pie? Honking the big shoe?)
Hey, Bozo! Get those hands where I can see 'em!
Look, I'm all for romance, but did the Wizard display teach us nothing?
And I'm not sure these censor dots are the solution, either:
Though I suppose it does beat the alternative. [shudder]
Thanks to Dominique G., Jeny F., Kara P., Ibo, Melanie T., & Robin M., who are, suspiciously, all smiles.
*****
P.S. Is your life boring? Does your soul yearn for adventure? Are you waiting for the universe to send you a sign?
My friend Ricki and I assembled all the cabinets. The planner lady didn't trust me when I told her the kitchen in the model felt wrong; there was, as I suspected, another 40 cm for a cabinet. But because of the radiator, doors or drawers wouldn't open there, so I bought a 4th upper cabinet and am committing Frankenkitchen with an open cabinet from the Enhet line. (Also to leave the outlet in that wall accessible. I think it's intended to be for a dishwasher, but I have no idea how you'd fit one there. See: radiator, door. Unless they want you to put a minifridge in? fuck that, I need a real fridge.) They also sent one extra of the 20 cm drawer fronts, instead of 2x10cm, so I had to exchange that.
(I went to IKEA 6 times in the last week, I think. I am SO done.)
My cute, retro-look fridge was delivered, and I got it plugged in and running. It's 144 cm tall (shorter than me, slightly) and has a top freezer with a door rather than the more typical bottom drawer freezer. I don't like them! It's hard to put cookie sheets or any sort of baking thing I need to freeze first in them.
I also installed clip-on blinds in the large, south-facing windows. We're not allowed to drill in the window frames, but they sell blinds that attach with clips that go over the top and bottom of the frame, so I got a few of those.
Saturday, Ricki and 2 derby friends came over and built my bed and desk, and after they had to leave, Ricki and I built the last 2 pieces of furniture. So I'll be able to occupy the place once the kitchen is installed (after I get back from the US).
Today I went over to the new apartment to break down the assload of boxes into smaller pieces that will fit in the mailbox-sized paper bin (they open to a vault below the street; I have no idea how that works). A lot of the previous boxes only got sort-of broken down, and I own a box cutter (more like a craft knife, really, and I didn't think about it until this morning, of course; having it over there for the last week would have made my life easier). So they're currently stacked up in my new apartment waiting to be taken down at some point when the vault has been emptied. (I think I filled it a lot.)
The main reason I went over was to meet with a guy from TaskRabbit to get an estimate on the kitchen install. He thinks it'll be a full day's work :| but I have no confidence in my ability to do it correctly myself, so I'll happily pay someone to do it for me. (I'm not even thinking about moving again for at least 5 years, if not 10. Moving is a huge pain in the ass.) And since I was paying him for an hour's work for just the consultation, he connected the one lamp I have installed.
The movers are coming July 11; I will probably spend the entire previous week (except when I'm at the new place waiting on the kitchen) putting everything into boxes. I've already started the task, but it's hard when you're still using a lot of the things.
I have an electricity contract and an internet contract. I'll get more lights and figure out a washer and vacuum when I get back. I have a few washers, vacuums, and toasters faved on Saturn that I can decide on later. Or go look at in person and then decide.
And in 2 days, I go to the US for 3 weeks. This timing is not great!
No, it has to be rated PG. We talked about this...
Look, I've given you a lot of fun options, and you've said no to all of them. I guess I can always find you some chores to do! I need help transplanting those seedlings.
(Submitted by Danette T., "sprout" toppers made by mimicafe Union)
Well, at least make the bed. And see if you can find the dog's leash. And, Sweetie, Christmas was six months ago. Maybe it's time to put away the reinbear?
1) I’m ever do thankful for my noise-cancelling headphones now a former jazz festival has returned to the park nearby. Clearly it is no longer only jazz and the noise levels are much higher. Luckily with my headphones on, I could forget about that
2) Dinner at my parents where hopefully the “music” will not be heard indoors
Edit because of the weather ^^ 3) For the first time I’m happy it’s a rainy day 3) Went to a plant/flower fair in another park and enjoyed a lovely drink in front on the manor in the sunshine
Sometimes, you have a specific item you want replicated in cake.
You know, like a camcorder.
(Really?)
(Oh. Ok. Really.)
Well, no problem. They can do that!
That's one for the record books.
And with all the company picnics out there, you know bakers can freehand logos like nobody's business:
See? Just like nobody's business!
Or how about trying an entire building?
It's all in the airbrush.
Enough business, though. What do you say we loosen things up with something a little... sexy?
Mrow.
Uh...
Well, on the bright side, at least the baker was generous with the serving sizes!
Because anything less would have been a waist.
Thanks to, Emily C., Bridey, & Anony. And hey, you know what they say! "A moment with these hips on your lips, and your hips...I mean, your LIPS...no. Wait. Look. There's an old saying in Tennessee. Or was it Taiwan? Anyway. Fool me once, shame on..uh...look, you can't get fooled again, is what I'm saying. Sooo. Yeah.
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