Forgetful Elephants

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” ~Albert Einstein 

 

In rehearsal today I read and walk through the part of an absent actor with sketchy blocking notes (I know, Cappy, you taught me better, but it wasn’t my book) and little acting ability. After I apologized to Hephzibah for the umpteenth time for screwing up she said, “Don’t worry about it, you’re learning,” and meant it. I almost burst into tears. At dance I nearly ripped off the Flying Dutchman’s arm (granted he was trying to do a death dip), and after, again profuse apologies, I was reminded that it was a new dip and I’m “still learning.” I continually stand on the sides of social dance, terrified to ask people I do not know to dance because I fear they will lead a step I don’t know, but knowing full well that is the only way to learn those steps.

 

I refuse to believe that my expectations for myself are too high. I am capable to of nothing short of them, and know that sometimes “it’s not enough to do your best, you must do what is required of you” (Churchill). But I have lost the ability to attempt things I can not reach the first time, and as I result have lost the ability to learn the things I need to.

 

I remain,

Georgie